an end, perhaps not the end, but an end nonetheless. an end to a phase of my life so wild and beautiful that it leaves the rest of my reality sad and pale in its shadow. the memories we have created tinge my world red with regret, and yet they add so much vividness and color, that i would do it all again, right now.
i have vowed to never let my heart become cynical and hardened, to continue learning to love less selfishly with the same abandon, though next time, i hope, with a tenderness hallowed by grief. if i have learned to be a person who incarnates Love just a little bit better over the course of this last year, perhaps i have won out in the only way worth winning in the end.
Ling for her part has chosen other paths, paths which i worry about, but they are hers to choose. i have struggled long with whether i have fulfilled my part of the vow we made, whether or not the Shepherd-of-our-Souls was really calling me finally to other paths, after being led by Him to remain all this time.
in the end i found where i belong once more, in His green pastures with Him, beside the still waters of His rest. there i have laid my heart for the next three years at Asbury. unless His rod and staff shall lead me to another i remain His and His alone, His to be given to all those He brings into my life there. in a sense i never left, and yet i long to sojourn further up and higher in. it is to that journey i am called anew.
so at this point, this is the end of flowersandfury for me. Ling has already been doing her blogging elsewhere for the most part, but perhaps she will want to write a swansong of her own for this blog later. for my part, i have taken the kind of blogging that i have needed to do the last few days elsewhere.
perhaps there is another journey Ling and i will make together at a later date, and perhaps at that time flowersandfury will live again. i do not know. but for now, i bid you au revoir with many thanks for sharing with us the flowers and the fury of our journey.
may the Shepherd-of-our-Souls always be your guide.