[snippets]

[snippet]

The air-conditioning is chilly. Airports always seem bare, bright and sterile – not the most welcoming of places. We grab a bunch of steel trolleys and load up, forming a baggage-laden laughing train and amusing people with our random antics. It seems strange. The last time I was here – well, the second-last time, really, was to see you off. I could sit in the very same seat where I clutched your hand and prayed; I could stand in the very same spot where I held you tightly, trying to delay the moment of parting. Instead, I join the rest in setting up camp.

.......................

I sit on the low metal bar and lean back against the glass barrier; the clear surface is cold on my back. I hear you speak, but I do not know what to say in return. Instead, I steady myself on the railing as I pace back and forth on gleaming metal. I suppose my eyes too would gleam with unshed tears if I could look into them. Unlike the surface I tread on, love has done much to melt this steely heart.

I wish that I was flying to be with you.

[snippet]

Walking through
The frigid rain
Yearn to see
Your face again
And the cold
Wouldn't matter
Because with you
I'd be warm –
I'd be safe –
I'd be whole.

I don't feel
So much anymore
It's overwhelming
You're distant;
Vague among new
Yet I do not
Belong among my
Own –
I belong With you.

Heady emotions
Meant so much
Now they are
Duller
Yet the truth
Is fuller
And I know
Things now
That I hadn't
Known before.

[snippet]

I want to spill myself. I want to be poured out and to soak you through, till you drip with melancholia and liquid sighs and throbbing anger, the heat of passion and the placid calm of my measured breath. I want to be the distortion that grates through your ears and rings like a drug into your head; I want to be the melodies that stir your soul. I want to be more. I want to be light. I want to dazzle and blind you and send ringing laughter vibrating through your atmosphere. I want to be touch. To drape skin to skin like velvet-soft hangings, to send ripples through warm flesh, to trace sweet shivers down your spine. I want to be in you, and you in me. We could collide and our beings would coalesce into an argent teardrop quivering on the face of time, sparkling through the refining fires of heartache. A thousand heartbeats refracted and shattered into prisms and rainbow splinters that pierce my soul. Echoing over oceans, this voiceless groan...it brands my heart with promise and pain. Stretch me beyond myself to find myself. Hold me taut and hold me tight, watch me quiver at the brink of breakage, yet still yearn to reach further than sanity would allow. But in a way reason was never a reason.

[snippet]

There is this waiting. Sometimes it saturates me, like yeast through so much dough. Then time oozes along in moist, glistening trails of rising suffocation. Other times I could almost be free, and the yeast would be but bubbles rising through my being to pockmark the surface with little bittersweet twinges. So I fill the waiting with tunnels of doing, stepping stones on the way to a dream...and yet each stone is a universe in itself.

Oh, the little empty pockets of life that I fill with worlds of wondering.

[snippet]

I am full. I am a pool beneath the stars. I am dark and secret, silent and waiting. I am light and laughing, a bubbling spring. I am deeper than you might ever guess – yet none desire to plumb the depths. They are satisfied with the ripples that dance over my surface at times – how quaint; how entertaining; how forgettable! They are drawn to motion, lights and sound, and thus my stillness bores, for it belongs to the mundane. Only you could know me in my silence – and love what you knew. Drink deep and be refreshed, beloved. If you leaned over and looked into my soul, you would see your image reflected in me and understand how we are one. And if still you looked and gazed deep enough, you would see the heavens shining beyond us and within us, and know that we have been given so much more.